[Best] Funny Status and Quotes for Whatsapp & FB 2018

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
Status: I on Not on whatsapp…
Save water – Drink beer!
I love my job only when I am on Holiday…
Oh Please…. Don’t copy my status.
Dear God, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it.
Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.
God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me!
When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be ‘I left one million dollars in the…’
C.L.A.S.S – Come late and start sleeping
This is the beginning of the sentence you just finished reading.
Eat – Sleep – Regret – Repeat.
Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.
Save paper, don’t do homework.
Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves few years ago we think we were an idiot.
Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
Sleep till you are hungry… Eat till you are sleepy.
Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
Totally available! Please disturb me…
One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent! That’s why I’m always calm and silent…
Man in Gray Suit Jacket Holding Yellow Banana Fruit While Making Face
Fact: Phone on silent mode – 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.
Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my whatsapp status….
At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.
You can never buy Love… But still you have to pay for it…
Whatsapp users never die, they just go offline.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep
My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them
All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
Hey there whatsapp is using me.
Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it?
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
Never steal. The government hates competition.
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.
Smile… It confuses people…!!
I wish my book of life was written in pencil … There are a few pages I would like to erase.
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking.
Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
The only thing I gained so far in this year is weight!
Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice
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